My Interview With Rob

Is he giving us the finger?

Wanna get into the head of lead singer Rob Thomas? Lucky for me I had a chance to corner him last week while golfing with Hootie and the Blowfish and force an interview out of him. Read and enjoy! *Note: NOT a real interview. If I ever did meet Rob, my reaction to him would be much different. I would be scared to hell of him.*

::zindo approaches Rob, who just missed the golf ball and is now swinging his club above his head, shouting obscenities::

zindo: Um..Rob?

Rob: Mother #$%^#$%^%$# my $%^ ball didn't $%^ move!

zindo: Rob? Hell-o?

Rob: ::turns to zindo:: Who um, are you?

zindo: I'm zindo.

Rob: Oh, right on..::begins walking to the second hole of the course::

zindo: ::following behind:: So when is the new album coming out? All your fans are growing very impatient you know..

Rob: Uh, I really have um, no clue...I thought it was ah, supposed to be out um, last year...::swings at the second hole and misses again:: AWWWW SH*T!!!!! ::breaks his nine iron::

zindo: O..k...well, when will you be on tour again?

Rob: ::takes a few seconds to regain his composure:: You mean we aren't on tour now? ::spaced look:: Aren't I at a concert?

zindo: Uh...what did you eat this morning Rob?

Rob: I, uh, don't remember...::scratches head::

zindo: Ok...::following Rob to the eighth hole...counting was never his strong point..::

Rob: ::swings and hits the ball...backwards:: Uh, aw F$#@! ::drops to the ground and weeps bitterly::

zindo: ::noting Rob's nervous breakdown:: What is your opinion on Matchbox 20's comparison with Third Eye Blind?

Rob: ::wacks his golf clubs into a pond:: ::ploop!::

zindo: I see...very Rob, what do you think of living in New York?

Rob: ::muffled voice:: It's ah, cold. White stuff fell from the, um, sky...that was, uh, cold too..

zindo: You mean snow?

Rob: ::from under his sleeve, where he is continuing to weep:: Uh, I dunno..

zindo: Rob, are you all right?

Rob: ::curls up into fetal posistion:: I hate golf.

zindo: I could tell last question...what is up with you and Paul? You know what I mean...

Rob: ::brightening for the first time during the day:: What um, isn't up? ::stands up::

zindo: That's more than I needed to know...

Rob: ::smiles to himself before getting hit over the head with a golf ball:: ::falls over::

zindo: Rob? ::pokes him with a stick:: Rob?!