My Interview With Kyle

Sideburns worse than David Cassidy's..

Kyle Kyle Kyle...the elusive, mysterious lead guitarist. What is up with his facial hair? Who knows? I spotted him a few days ago at a preview for a new Munster movie, and got a few questions out of him (for the benefit of everyone here! Lucky you!) *Note: NOT a real interview. Everyone knows there's no new Munster movie coming out!*

zindo: Hey Kyle. What's up?

Kyle: Huh?

zindo: Kyle, why do you always look like you have just woken up from a nap?

Kyle: 'Cause usually I have...::eyes droop further::

zindo: I see..very interesting. I have to ask..what do you think is up with Rob and Paul? You know what I mean..

Kyle: ::eyes flinch slightly, as if remembering some past threat:: ::in a monotone:: There is nothing going on between them. They are both het..hetero...straight. ::looks around nervously::

zindo: Fascinating...you know Kyle, you shouldn't be afraid of them. I'm sure they are more afraid of you then you are of them.

Kyle: It's not them I'm afraid of..it's..it's...::whispers:: Bubba!

zindo: Who's Bubba?

Kyle: I..can't..say...fear...for my life...

zindo: Ok..uh..let's move on....do you keep the things fans throw onstage?

Kyle: Oh yeah, I keep everything and put it in my room at home. Well, except for the Beanie Babies. I sell those on the black market and make a pretty penny too! I was able to buy a new Mercedes with that money!

zindo: Nice...what about all the other stuff?

Kyle: My room looks like a six year old's. All I need are some Teletubby dolls.

zindo: All in due time, Kyle, all in due time. So, exactly how do you manage to play guitar with your teeth?

Kyle: That's easy. All you do is take a guitar ::whips out a guitar from behind him:: and you just put your fingers up here on the long stick part and then you just shove your face in this part here and play and ::strums a few notes, and a string snaps:: OW DAMMIT! I'M BLEEDING! MY FACE!

zindo: Uh..huh..I think I'll just stick to my kazoo..um..do you need any tissues or anything?

Kyle: No...no I'm fine...this has happened before....

zindo: Ok! Good enough for me! Let's continue..when do you think you'll start touring again?

Kyle: Whenever Bubba wants us too.

zindo: Who's this Bubba freak? Are you hiding something?

Kyle: No! Never! We'll tour soon! I can't take anymore questioning! Bubba is getting upset. I can't upset Bubba. I have to go now. ::walks into the movie theater::

zindo: Uh..bye! Don't forget to get soda with your popcorn!!!